On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it. 'Be still, my heart,' thought my friend, 'my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!' Then the child spoke to the instrument: "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order?" - zobacz
What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse ? The Codfather ! - zobacz
Why did the queen bee kick out all of the other bees ? Because they kept droning on and on ! - zobacz
A salesman was demonstrating unbreakable combs in a department store. He was impressing the people who stopped by to look by putting the comb through all sorts of torture and stress. Finally to impress even the skeptics in the crowd, he bent the comb completely in half, and it snapped with a loud crack. Without missing a beat, he bravely held up both halves of the 'unbreakable' comb for everyone to see and said, "And this, ladies and gentlemen, is what an unbreakable comb looks like on the inside." - zobacz
Knowing that the minister was very fond of cherry brandy, one of the church elders offered to present him with a bottle on one consideration - that the pastor acknowledge receipt of the gift in the church paper. "Gladly," responded the good man. When the church magazine came out a few days later, the elder turned at once to the "appreciation" column. There he read: "The minister extends his thanks to Elder Brown for his gift of fruit and for the spirit in which it was given." - zobacz
What did the pig say when his brother rolled on him? "Heavy!" - zobacz
How come the giant Ape climbed up the side of the skyscraper? The elevator was broken! - zobacz
What insect lives on nothing ? A moth, because it eats holes - zobacz
Why didn't the monster use toothpaste? Because he said his teeth weren't loose. - zobacz
Q: How did bulldogs get such flat noses? - A: From chasing cars. - zobacz
Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeding drivers, a State Police Officer see's a car puttering along at 22 MPH. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five old ladies, two in the front seat and three in the back, wide eyed and white as ghosts. The driver, obviously confused, says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?" "Ma'am," the officer replies, "You weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers." "Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly twenty-two miles an hour!" the old woman says a bit proudly. The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle exp lains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error. "But before I let you go, Ma'am, I have to ask... Is everyone in this car OK? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time," the officer asks. "Oh, they'll be all right in a minute officer. We just got off Route 142." - zobacz
What girl's name is like a letter? Kay (K). - zobacz
Q: How many MP's does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Twenty-one. One to change it and twenty to form a fact-finding committee to learn more about how it's done. - zobacz
Why were the flies playing football in saucer ? They where playing for the cup ! - zobacz
What do robots put at the bottom of their e-mails? Yours tin-sincerely. - zobacz